Who would have thought?

Well its official! Spandex is not always a guaranteed TIME killer. While most would argue (at least from the hetero male group) that watching girls dive around a gym wearing tiny spandex shorts would definitely qualify as a fantastic activity to stick it hard to TIME, I have to disagree. Sorry to all the perverts out there but I would much rather watch the ping pong world championships then line judge another volleyball game. TIME you may have won this round, but I will come at you with a vengeance as soon as I leave that gym floor for the last time!

Google can be on my Neighborhood Watch any day!

Meajan Murray is boring and doesn't do anything fun.

It's a Fact.

Aladdin Sane

Who is David Bowie?

Just an ordinary glam rock king? Or a gallant legionnaire in the war on TIME?

Sure, he has become an idol of hipsters worldwide, but who can blame him? After all he has paved the way for young males to paint their faces and wear obscenely feminine clothing, not to mention his advancement of the mullet into a new modern era. But the best thing that has come out of Aladdin Sane is not lightning bolt face paint or flaming red mullets, but a recording of such despicable hatred about YOU KNOW WHO! Yes, I am referring to the song simply titled "Time".

Time - he's waiting in the wings
He speaks of senseless things
His script is you and me, boys

Time - he flexes like a whore
Falls wanking to the floor
His trick is you and me, boy

Time- In Quaaludes and red wine
Demanding Billy Dolls
And other friends of mine
Take your time

The sniper in the brain, regurgitating drain
Incestuous and vain,
And many other last names. . .

Bowie, I bow to you. Your poetic bashing of our hated enemy has given me new energy and hope! I will paint my face and wear spandex to honor your vision, your memory. You are a true hero Bowie. . .You are OUR hero!

Stephen Hawking is a minor diety

No one F's Time in the A like Stephen Hawking. The guy makes Marty McFly look like a talentless hack. Mr. Hawking, I wouldn't miss your time travelers' reception for the world.

How to Build a Time Machine

Time Kills Required Reading

Know thine Enemy.

New Zealand hates the rest of the world

We're on to you, New Zealand. You sit down there all smug with your beautiful country, your lack of materialism, and your rugby thinking you don't owe the rest of the world and apology. You're the biggest traitor in the epic battle against Time.

I'm talking about the International Dateline, New Zealand, the icon of Time's dominion over humanity. Each day starts with you, and you're too much of a push over to stop it! Don't tell us you don't have the strength to stand up to Time and say "No more!" Hell, even Micronesia is out there fighting the good fight while you just sit there watching your Tuatara munch on a fricken leaf! Thanks for nothing, New Zealand. The world is paying for your passivity.